Monday, September 27, 2010

"OH #@&% THESE FEELINGS!!" by Dr. Jae


Many of times we make the wrong decisions, because of how we feel at the moment. Feelings are tricky, they only last a moment, but when you are in the moment, it feels like a lifetime. These can be good or bad feelings. Everybody feels something, men and women. Yes, women are "emotional creatures," but so are men. Women show their emotions, but do men really hide theirs? Not necessarily. Men have a different way of showing their emotions. Some withdraw, and some get angry, and some of them don't say anything at all. They don't want to talk because they know that means argument. Many times people refer to arguments like their in court. Either you won or you didn't. Instead of looking at it in a win-lose situation, look at it from a win-win situation. You are going to argue, but who is going to take their emotions out of it and be logical? If you are being logical about certain things, everybody becomes a winner. Instead of arguing, refer to it as an discussion.

Another feeling that men and women struggle with is CONTROL!. That's right I said it. I'm going to say it again, CONTROL!

EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE IN CONTROL!. Don't worry, its not your fault you want to be in control. We experience this at an early age, we want to make our own decisions, we want to have control over our own lives, we want to be in control. When you are in a relationship, it always start off great. You both make decisions together, but some where down the line its gets screwed up. Being in control and being controlling is two different things. Being in control doesn't have to mean that you hold all the power. It simply means that if an issue should arise you know how to handle it logically where everybody wins. Now if someone is being controlling, then they are out of control. I believe that people who are controlling don't have any self control. They can't control themselves so they try to control others. (Again this is just my opinion) Money, Power, and Respect. These are factors that contribute to controlling attitudes. Nothing wrong with having money, power, and respect but don't abuse it.

A relationship involves two people, who become one. You share the control. Love is a two way street. What you want in a relationship, you have to be willing to give the same things. I did a study a while ago, and men and women both listed TRUST AND COMPROMISE as things they wanted in their relationship. If you give nothing (emotionally) you get nothing (emotionally). Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. In closing, remember to be logical. You may not get everything you want but you will get most of what you need. And it leaves the relationship (the both of you) in good standing.

please feel free to comment!!

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