Thursday, December 23, 2010

10 Reasons The Holidays are Overrated

Hate to ruin your Holiday Spirit with my Top 10 list but the Holidays are really overrated. This is how my mind wonders:

10. Retailers spend like thousands on advertisement so that your already broke ass can become even more broke buying an abundance of Snuggies and Bath Sets. They, in return, profit like triple what they spent on the promo.

9. Thousands of puppies and kittens are brought for gifts then when Spring hit they all end up homeless roaming the street because either a couple broke up or they couldn't afford pet food.

8. We all gain another 10 lbs after only a month since Thanksgiving. Muthafuckas are cooking AGAIN just because they shitted out Thanksgiving food when it reality, it doesn't matter because the fat is already built up in your stomach lining.

7. This is the only time of the season guys actually act like men and show their emotions to a female because the cold brings out the bitch in them. They show their emotions also because they wont have to spend as much money on a gift because the girl is already satisfied with just getting time with him. Then Spring hits and guys hormones go insane.

6. Females go crazy buying boots. Some females end up only buying one pair and rock them shit hard body the whole damn 3 months. Bitch buy some more and stop spending you last on weave! Learn to manage your money between weave and boots.

5. Dry Skin. The Holidays bring fuckin dry skin and muthafuckas like me with excema have to drench ourselves in lotion with Oatmeal and shit just so we can survive.

4. Ex's pop up out the blue. #FACT

3. Everybody in the Entertainment Industry gets cranky because the whole year prior they didn't keep in touch with friends or family so they end up alone during the Holidays. *Toast to the workaholics* Ill be home for the Holidays playing online Poker drinking VSOP, inbox me if you wanna play.

2. Bad ass kids get gifts but not taught that Christmas was about the birth of Jesus. Once they get out of school, parents don't remind them what Christmas is. They end up thinking its only about gifts and then when they get older the parents wonder why they kids STILL bad. TEACH YOUR KIDS AT HOME- THEY DONT HAVE TO LEARN JUST AT SCHOOL #imjussayin

1. Everybody expects you to give them something. I got something for you- a damn TIP, "Its a recession bitch, u can pay 20% of my Utility Bill if you wanna give me something!"

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